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January 2, 2012

Season 3

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01. Zelda's Boyfriend

You must defeat Ganon to reach The Friend Zone.

January 2, 2012
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02. Ash Gets a Digimon

Digimon are not the champions.

January 3, 2012
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03. Final Fantasy Thief Steals Wallet

He's hellbent on destruction and meatball subs.

January 9, 2012
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04. Link Finds Ganon's Weakness

A true warrior fears no beep.

January 10, 2012
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05. Fi Annoys Link

I'd take "Hey, listen!" over this any day.

January 17, 2012
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06. Ski Free Yeti Gets Desperate

He's got a few tricks up his furry, pixelated sleeve.

January 18, 2012
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07. Ken Wants to be Ryu

Imitation is the sincerest form of annoyance.

January 24, 2012
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08. Mario is Too Mainstream

You've probably heard of him.

January 25, 2012
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09. Luigi Meets Waluigi

You can't judge a book by its cover. It's usually way worse.

January 31, 2012
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10. Excitebike Maniac

Sportsmanship is for losers.

January 31, 2012
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11. Bowser's Marital Problems

Never base a marriage around mutual hatred for a plumber.

February 7, 2012
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12. Bioshock Little Sister's Big Date

Big Daddy is just a tad overprotective.

February 7, 2012
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13. Puzzle Quest Ogre is a Nerd

All is fair in love and puzzles.

February 13, 2012
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14. Tiny Tower Residents Can't Leave

They've got everything you need forever and ever.

February 14, 2012
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15. Red Wastes a Masterball

His first mistake was giving the company's prized possession to an 11-year-old.

February 21, 2012
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16. Videogame Dog Park

Player 1's best friend.

February 22, 2012
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17. Limbo with a Flashlight

Objects may not be as scary as they appear.

February 27, 2012
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18. Angry Sun Hates Mario

His first priority is killing a plumber. His second is maintaining life on Earth.

February 29, 2012
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19. Disney's Game of Thrones

In the game of thrones, you win or you're thrown in the Disney vault.

March 2, 2012
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20. Mortal Kombat Security Guard

If they keep killing each other, they're going to get a warning.

March 5, 2012
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21. Uncle Owen Ruins Star Wars

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away....nothing interesting happened.

March 9, 2012
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22. Zelda II Sex Scene

A potion would have been far more tasteful.

March 12, 2012
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23. X-Men Disappoint Magneto

They could have at least sent X-Factor.

March 14, 2012
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24. TMNT Child Protective Services

The government is cool, but rude.

March 19, 2012
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25. Final Fantasy VII Controversy

You say tomato, I say tomana.

March 21, 2012
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26. Fan Fiction Dragon Ball Z

His power level is almost as absurd as the creative liberties.

April 3, 2012
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27. BurgerTime Chef Gets a New Job

Whatever you do, don't ask him to Super-Size it.

April 11, 2012
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28. Mario Goes Berserk

Mario's done playing Mr. Nice Plumber.

April 12, 2012
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29. Toad House Is Rigged

Mario doesn't like getting played.

April 16, 2012
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30. Mega Man Meets The Wire

Baltimore, 20XX. E-Tank dealers own the streets now.

April 18, 2012
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31. Hypno's Having Trouble

Given his name, it's not like he had a whole bunch of career options.

April 23, 2012
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32. Jurassic Yoshi

An adventure 16 bits in the making...

April 25, 2012
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33. Mario Skips World 2

Hey, no one told him to liberate the WHOLE kingdom.

May 2, 2012
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34. Sub-Zero Stays Dizzy

Sometimes a brutal fatality is better than the alternative.

May 5, 2012
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35. Videogame Realtor

She can show you some lovely residential property in Sim City.

May 7, 2012
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36. Bug Catcher Waits

Life is harden for a bug-type trainer.

May 9, 2012
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37. Sub-Zero's Glasses Are Broken

You should empty your pockets before entering the Earthrealm.

May 15, 2012
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38. Disney Channel's Kingdom Hearts

The Black Mages of Waverly Place must be behind this.

May 16, 2012
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39. Regular Guiseppe, The Third Mario Brother

He'd save the princess, but his back pain's really been acting up lately.

May 26, 2012
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40. Pac-Man's Pac-Wedding

Grab a slice of dot-flavored wedding cake.

May 26, 2012
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41. River City Ransom Girlfriend

The secret to a strong relationship is merciless violence.

May 30, 2012
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42. Dhalsim's Losing His Touch

He’s stretching the truth.

June 4, 2012
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43. 'Legend of Zelda' Hermit Wants To Haggle

It’s dangerous to not take these deals.

June 5, 2012
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44. Babality Is a Big Responsibility

It takes a true champion to raise a child.

June 11, 2012
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45. Roller Coaster Tycoon Disaster

These rides are to die for. To die painfully and horrifically for.

June 18, 2012
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46. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Elevator Troubles

Small talk is NOT radical.

June 19, 2012
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47. Bowser's Weekend With The Kids

Today’s youth needs to understand the value of a hard day’s princess kidnapping.

June 25, 2012
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48. Donkey Kong Meets With His Agent

This is a deal you can’t throw a barrel at.

June 26, 2012
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49. Sonic Gets Engaged

He’s finally out of the Friend Zone.

July 2, 2012
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50. Boos Meet a Real Ghost

He’s pretty (bone-)chill(ing).

July 9, 2012
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51. Pokemon Rusty: Ep. 1 - The Journey Begins

A new Dorkly series, about a trainer who has what it takes to be the very worst, like no one ever was.

July 16, 2012
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52. Legend of Zelda's 'Goodnight, Moon'

A bedtime story for the next three days.

July 18, 2012
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53. Pokemon Rusty: Ep. 2 - Rusty's Rival

The world’s worst Pokemon trainer finally meets his match. Check out Episode 1 here.

July 23, 2012
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54. Jax's New Arms

He’s armed and dangerous.

July 24, 2012
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55. Pokemon Rusty: Ep. 3 - Team Rocket

If you’re gonna catch ‘em all, you gotta have Pokeballs. Check out episodes one and two.

July 30, 2012
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56. Batman Goes to the Movies

His movie-going experience must be more severe.

July 31, 2012
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57. Peach's Revenge (Part 1)

She’s putting you in another castle. Morgue Castle.

August 6, 2012
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58. Paralyzed Pokemon Returns

You can break his spine, but you’ll never break his spirit.

August 7, 2012
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59. Resident Evil Political Ad

He's got the brains Washington needs (in his digestive track).

August 13, 2012
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60. Iron Man's Drunk

Tony Stark: just your average billionaire playboy raging alcoholic.

August 14, 2012
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61. Earthbound Photographer's Surprise

Maybe he should have just had them say "cheese.

August 20, 2012
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62. Chrono Trigger Doppel Doll's Other Use

He's more of an "action figure" than a "doll," if you catch my drift.

August 27, 2012
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63. Sonic Meets Original Fan Characters

He's the fastest thing alive (except for Doug the Hedgehog, who is literally twice as fast as the speed of light).

September 4, 2012
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64. Voltorb Doesn't Want To Die

He really doesn't want to bomb this battle.

September 10, 2012
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65. Link's Wish

It's not delivery, it's destiny.

September 11, 2012
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66. Paperboy Newsroom

A paperboy who doesn't destroy every window in sight? News to me.

September 17, 2012
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67. Superman's Bad Day

The man of steel needs to look out.

September 18, 2012
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68. Banjo's Big Mix-Up

No details

September 24, 2012
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69. Link's Fun Uncle Dies

It's dangerous to go alone. Take a brewski, kiddo.

September 25, 2012
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70. Smoke's Not Doing Well

Fights to the death are the number one way to quit smoking.

October 1, 2012
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71. Emergency XCOM Meeting

No details

October 8, 2012
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72. Mario's Ex

Exes are like Boos: they always come back to haunt you.

October 9, 2012
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73. Mortal Misunderstanding

It's the beginning of the happy ending.

October 15, 2012
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74. Legend of Zelda: The Se7en Sages

His sins are coming back to haunt him.

October 16, 2012
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75. Robotnik's New Nickname

You can't make an omelette without cracking a few jerks.

October 22, 2012
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76. Videogame Trick-or-Treating

No details

October 29, 2012
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77. Luke Skywalker's Adoption

A bad idea in a galaxy far, far away.

October 30, 2012
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78. Pokemon Rusty: Ep. 4 - Snorcrash

Nothing can keep a good Pokemon trainer down. Nothing can keep Rusty down, either. Click here to catch up on the first season of Pokemon Rusty.

November 5, 2012
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79. Mario Can't Play the Warp Whistle

Music can really take your places. Horrible, unspeakable places.

November 7, 2012
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80. Nobody Likes the Toasty Guy

It's hard making friends, especially when you're yelling made-up exclamations in falsetto.

November 12, 2012
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81. Pokemon Rusty: Ep. 5 - Celadon Mall

Not even a Full Restore could cure Rusty's mall madness.

November 19, 2012
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82. Pokemon Daycare Reunion

Magikarp never forgets.

November 20, 2012
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83. Sonic, Lord of the Rats

Save the vermin, ruin the world.

November 27, 2012
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84. Pokemon Rusty: Ep. 6 - HM Madness

Some machines were meant to stay hidden.

December 3, 2012
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85. Pokemon Rusty: Ep. 7 - EV Trainer

If you want to be the very best, you have to be the absolute worst.

December 10, 2012
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86. Pokemon Rusty: Ep. 8 - Gym Fight

Hit the Cinnabar Island Gym for the ultimate workout.

December 17, 2012
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87. Dad Piggies

No one makes haphazardly-put-together deathmobiles like dad.

December 18, 2012
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88. A Mortal Kombat Khristmas

You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'm tellin' you why: Shao Kahn's reign is brutal and merciless and he punishes the weak.

December 24, 2012
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89. Pokemon Rusty: Ep. 9 - The Newest Member of Team Rocket

Prepare for trouble, make it single.

December 31, 2012